Who is James?

If you’re not watching Jeopardy! right now, you should be. I’m obsessed with stories like this one, stories that throw a champion your way when you least expect it. We’ll get to James Holzhauer, who we’ll call James from here on so I don’t have to copy/paste his last name repeatedly, in a minute. Like many of you probably, I …

Under Pressure

Sing along, everybody! Mm ba ba deUm bum ba deUm bu bu bum da de There’s a reason why couples who meet during traumatic situations stay together. Those scenarios are proving grounds, and it goes for our more platonic relationships as well. We could expedite a lot of process if we were willing to put our relationships in the fire …

Unicorns Are Dumb

We want what we don’t have. As a creator, I know this. My job is to make things that aren’t things yet, and I have a duty to champion imagination. I think we are exposed too early to the wonder of the world, however, and that’s why we’re unimpressed by it. All those childhood books full of unicorns and dragons. …

Cars

As environments go, it’s hard to find a more diversely populated location than the freeway. Speed demons. Slow pokes. Vacationing families. CEO’s going to work. Uber drivers. Delivery drivers. That one guy on the motorcycle at midnight doing 120mph like a drunk mosquito. Maybe it wouldn’t affect me so much is my A/C was working. I need to find a …

Songs for Airports

Airports are flowing rivers of human bodies. Thousands of humans snake forward around turns and down impossibly long hallways.  Different currents move at different speeds.  The slow and weak, the people who fly rarely if ever, get snagged on the rocks and branches.  They are slowed by departure screens, credit card offers, massage chairs, shoeshine men, and strategically placed local …

Dear Heckler

Dear Heckler, Thank you for taking the time to write me. I assume this is in regard to your (birthday party/ bachelorette party/anniversary). Yes, yes. I know. You didn’t do anything at all. No, I know. You were just laughing. I mean, is there a law against laughing? And let me stop you. I must have singled you out. Just …