Welcome to The Azores

I am exhausted. I’ve been up for just shy of forty hours.  I could have gone to bed anywhere in the last twelve of those hours, but I learned a long time ago that you never say no to an adventure. The Azores lie in the Atlantic Ocean, 900 miles away from the parental Portugal, and 2500 miles away from …

Ralphie May

You will hear a lot of Ralphie May stories in the next few days, I’m sure. Ralphie and I go back nearly twenty years. We shared the stage together a million times as I was coming up. He played the club I owned a million times too. When I shut it down and went out on the road, Ralphie was …

False Flag

“It’s a conspiracy! I wasn’t there when it happened and I haven’t been to the place since then, and I haven’t ever been there at all actually, but whatever. But I have read the reports other people posted on Facebook though, as well as this USA Today infographic, and in a logic-defying series of moments, I have escaped the limits …

One Armed Bandit

My mailing list goes out on Tuesdays, but I usually write these posts somewhere during the preceding week.  This one happens to be on a Monday, and my inner dialogue has gone something like this all day. “Have you written this week’s post for your mailing list, Slade.” “You know I haven’t. You’re me.” “It’s just a reminder.” “What am …

Games We Aren’t Playing

I’ve been beaten in every comedy contest I’ve ever entered. I think the highest I’ve ever placed is third. It used to discourage me. How could I, this guy who can crush for an hour on stage, lose to a handful of young open mikers? We’re all like that, aren’t we? I mean, measuring ourselves against yardsticks that really don’t …

Ye Ol’ Apple Store

Apple Employee: “Welcome to the Apple store. What can I do to help you today?” Me: “Just grabbing an adapter for a power cord.” AE: “Not a problem. I can get someone to help you. What’s your name? And do you have your iPhone on you?” Me: “I’m actually just grabbing an adapter.” AE: “Great. If I can just scan …