Fish Birds

I have a crazy obsession with octopuses. Nothing is more unusual to me, like they were designed in a Build-a-Bear by some fearless kid.

“How many arms?”


“What?! You’re only building one animal here.”

Yeah, so? And put suckers on them.

“That makes literally no sense.”

And I want it to change colors!

“From what color to what color?”

All of them!

“Okaaay, son. You’re getting a little excited.”

And make it shoot big black clouds of ink at its enemies!

“That’s not how things work at all.”

And a beak!

“Like a parrot?”


“Ma’am, I’m gonna have to ask your kid to leave.”

And no bones!

“Seriously, I’m going to call a manager.”

Believe me. My mom will call a manager faster than you ever could. Just make my dumb spider-bird-fish-chameleon-inkjet-printer-slime-animal so we can go.



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