Unicorns Are Dumb

Unicorns Are Dumb

We want what we don’t have. As a creator, I know this. My job is to make things that aren’t things yet, and I have a duty to champion imagination. I think we are exposed too early to the wonder of the world, however, and that’s why we’re unimpressed by it. All those...
Dear Heckler

Dear Heckler

Dear Heckler, Thank you for taking the time to write me. I assume this is in regard to your (birthday party/ bachelorette party/anniversary). Yes, yes. I know. You didn’t do anything at all. No, I know. You were just laughing. I mean, is there a law against laughing?...
I Just Like Dixie

I Just Like Dixie

“Can I go get it?” I ask as soon as she throws it. “It” is just a flashlight tossed into the intake of an F-18 Super Hornet. “She” is the super-hot flight engineer for the Canadian Air Force.  Yes, I know, it sounds shallow. But she has been explaining the inner...
The Cost of Things

The Cost of Things

I don’t remember who said it, but it has stuck with me long enough that I should probably credit them. The gist is this though: To live an extraordinary life, you have to be willing to give up some of the things that come with an ordinary one. In the last two weeks,...
Dear Applebee’s

Dear Applebee’s

Dear Applebee’s Grill & Bar, I went against my better judgement, but because my car is somewhat suicidal at the moment (it had a rough youth, and those things manifest as acting out later), and you had a location in walking distance of my hotel, I figured I...
Which Side Are You On?

Which Side Are You On?

I was texting with a friend of mine yesterday about the insanity of our information pipeline.  She was trying to remember the psychological term for some thing or another. I honestly can’t remember exactly what we were talking about, but it was akin to Survivor’s...
Until All the Dragons Are Dead – Sample Chapter

Until All the Dragons Are Dead – Sample Chapter

The following is a chapter from Until All the Dragons Are Dead, a collection of stories from my travels. Waiting for the Sun I have seen more of the Middle East than I ever expected a kid from a small town in Southeast Texas would see.  I won’t pretend that my time...
Fish Birds

Fish Birds

I have a crazy obsession with octopuses. Nothing is more unusual to me, like they were designed in a Build-a-Bear by some fearless kid. “How many arms?” Eight! “What?! You’re only building one animal here.” Yeah, so? And put suckers on...
No Free Passes

No Free Passes

As anyone who’s ever seen me live can vouch for, I’m no stranger to hecklers.  I especially expect it from rowdy late show crowds in Texas. In Fort Worth this past weekend, I stumbled on a gem of a pair.  A guy was in the front row seated next to a girl,...
What Are You Mad At?

What Are You Mad At?

Who is Walter Palmer? Don’t Google him, just run him through your memory’s filters and we’ll get back to it. We live in a culture of outrage.  In my line of work, one of the things I have to do so deftly is walk the tightrope between empathy and calling out bullshit. ...